Graduation (Friends Forever)

So this is it, the end of high school. I'm about to break into a long emotional blog post and whether or not anyone reads this I don't care because this is more for my own reflection. I'm gonna copy a lot of this on facebook but this is more in depth.

When they say high school is the best 4 years of your life, I don't have a single doubt about the truth behind it. I've learned a hundred times more about myself these past 4 years than I have the first 14. I've never thought about this day coming until just this past week or so. I'm actually going to graduate high school. In 3 months I'll be leaving the house and I'm never gonna sit in a non-college classroom again. I'm gonna be growing up, trying my best to take care of myself. I'm just gonna miss the little things in high school. Coming home and logging on aim, holding off hw to do stupid things. I'm gonna miss rallies, I'm gonna miss dances. I think even having a crush on a girl will feel different from now on. I'm indefinitely gonna change in the near future. It's sad to say my friends will too, and no matter how hard I try to avoid it I'll become distanced from most of them. However, the future is inevitable and after this blog and tomorrow's ceremony I'll have to move full speed toward the inevitable.

So let's take a warp back in time: how exactly do I feel about each of the past 4 years?

Freshman year I was still at Harker. I was caught in the loop of immaturity and sheltering which sadly still plagues a lot of kids back there. I have to admit, I was a pretty big asshole. I thought a little more of myself than I rightfully should've and I'm thankful that I left Harker so I could be set on the right path. It's not to say everyone there is like what I was but I needed a change to make a change. This isn't to say freshman year was all negativity. The mistakes taught me to avoid them in the future. Not to play girls, not to ever put things that don't matter before your friends. After most of my friends left to other high schools after middle school I became closer to certain people who I'll treasure forever. The summer before freshman year was when I really became best friends with Dan and I'm glad we're still inseparable after 4 years. I was lucky enough to make friends at MV before I transferred in or else I would've been a total outcast. I'm glad I left Harker, but at the same time I wouldn't change this part of my past if I had the chance.

Sophomore year was a huge smack in the face for me. Going from a school of 500 kids to 2400 was a shock. I came in and most the people around me didn't like me. I can't blame them cause I was off but I guess it helped me become who I am. I spent too much of this year obsessing over random little crushes and desperately trying to fit in. At the end of the year I was able to find a lot of my faults and it was around this time I made most of my most precious friends. I still reminisce of constantly walking around everywhere with Allen, Sam, and Koji.

Commercial break here for TAG SUMMER. The summer after sophomore year was without a doubt the biggest turnaround of my high school career. That summer I received my license and became closer to my friends at school, met the toga guys who would soon become some of my closest friends, and became more involved in Key Club. With these setting the foundation, I decided it was time to set permanence in friendship with TAG. Before the founding of TAG I was somewhat of a nomad. I was never especially close to a crowd of friends before this point. I spent the summer going to Leslie's nearly everyday and meeting up with the to-be founders. Fourth of July came, and during the barbecue at Alan's old house we decided to found it. Since then TAG has become the focal point of my life, a brotherhood I live and die for. I understand for some of the members its become pretty whatever but to me TAG is a reminder that I always have a group of close friends who'll support through everything. As we split this upcoming year I hope that we can hold our strong bond no matter what it takes.

Junior year had to have been undoubtedly the worst year of my life. I made the horrible mistake of signing up for 4 AP/honors classes and proceeded to fail nearly all of them. I couldn't get along with Coach Mueller and dropped out of football, which had been one of my greatest passions up until that point. I liked the same girl for nearly the entire year, despite the hopelessness. Through these struggles, I believe that this year was when I truly matured into the person I can confidently call an adult (despite my kiddish spirit). I owe it to TAG for keeping me sane through this year when everything seemed like it was falling apart.

Senior year, 180 degree change. This past year has definitely been the BEST year of my life. Schoolwork erased from my life as a plague. I barely tried at all this year and got better grades than I did working hard in junior year. This allowed me to spend time doing what mattered most, spending time with my friends. I've been so carefree this year it feels almost like a break from reality. I treasure each moment of high school because I realize each experience will be my last time having it. I've grown closer and closer to my friends and I can't be happy enough. Despite having to face some emotional issues for the first semester, I was able to resolve it and ultimately become stronger in the end. This year will allow me to move forward into the future with a bright smile on my face.

So here I am at the end of my senior year. Last rally is past, senior prom is past, I have no more classes. In less than 18 hours I'll be sitting on the Monta Vista bleachers in a purple gown being told in the most optimistic fashion about my future. A future which I'm still not sure of. So am I content with my high school experience? Very. Do I have regrets? Plenty. I regret not trying hard enough to get into any of the schools I wanted. I regret never having a strong relationship with a girl. I regret quitting football which I still have a passion for. Regrets are the past and they're just stepping stones not speed bumps. So here it is before me, the end of "the best 4 years of my life." I have mixed feelings about whether or not I'm ready but like I said, its inevitable.

Goodbye High School. Let's make this summer freakin rad