Release Me

"If you'd get next to me and help me find simplicity.
Then you could be the one to take me, to break me
And flood my soul.
Could you be the one to release me?
Waiting for your love to free me, so release me"

Hot Import Nights was definitely an awesome experience. Going for sure next year(possibly entering a car?). I don't think I enjoyed looking at cars and girls as much as it was simply spending time with my friends. Two of them I never see enough. As graduation comes closer and closer I really am scared. It'd be real awesome if we could look at it like the end of middle school; we're going to different schools but we'll still be around. When I graduated 8th grade I only had one friend move away, Ian. Surprisingly, I had a really long talk with him today about a lot of things. I'm surprised we managed to maintain our friendship throughout high school despite him living in another state. Will I be able to have this with all my friends?

The way things are, half my friends will be gone because they're simply way smarter than me. I don't fear college rejection as much as I fear putting distance between me and my friends. Even if I goto De Anza, chances are Dan, Shawn, and Allen will be the only ones sticking around. If I goto sac state I'll prob be all alone unless Dan goes. Those're really the only options I have so far.

I've been having the most insane insomnia lately. I haven't fallen asleep in less than an hour and a half in bed in more than a week. I've been thinking about so many things: friends, school, girls, cars, the future, etc. I'm only writing this blog right now cause its soothing and could possibly help me sleep. A good thing thats come from this insomnia though, is that I've started reading books.

I've got so many things I want to do. I want to make a lot more videos before graduation. I want to finish some games. I want to get in shape. Theres only so much time left in second semester.

Enough thoughts for today. Goodnight

Life is Like a Boat

"I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow and keep you strong"

So Friday I got my first rejection letter. Even though I put 0 effort into the application I will admit that I'm really disappointed. They actually took the time to tell me that I was good in all areas except for grades, which is essentially the only thing stopping me from getting in to almost all the schools on my list.
I'm starting to get really antsy, I've been checking application status sites just about everyday.

On a brighter note, my birthday is coming and I'm really hoping I can get the Evo X. I've been slowly getting more and more obsessive with the thought of it. Buying magazines, watching videos, reading up on tuning. Oh and going to Hot Import Nights with TAG next saturday! Speaking of TAG, maybe new vid this week...

And I played badminton today...exciting!
I totally pwned my mom

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I'm getting anxious for March



I'm hoping for at least ONE yes

Sadie Hawkins Dance

yup

Galaxies

Dear Santa...

Breathe Deep

"This morning I had a wonderful dream. By holding my arms out stiff and pushing down hard, I found I could suspend myself a few feet above the ground. I flapped harder, and soon I was soaring effortlessly over the trees and telephone poles! I could FLY! I folded my arms back and zoomed low over the neighborhood. Everyone was amazed, and they ran along under me as I shot by. Then I rocketed up so fast that my eyes watered from the wind. I laughed and laughed, making huge loops across the sky!...That's when mom woke me up and said I was going to miss the bus if I didn't get my bottom out of bed; 20 minutes later, here I am, standing in the cold rain, waiting to go to school, and I just remembered I forgot my lunch."
-Calvin and Hobbes

ahh another weekend over in a blur

Hello Color Red

"I've lost touch of everything that means anything to me
My friends always forgive me.
We become too brave and quick
A little clever, a little numb.
We could stare a lover in the eyes and lie
"Yes I don't feel anything at all."
And I could say
That I have everything I need right now.
I hope you're proud you liar.
But it's late
The weight of all my emptiness comes crashing down on me.
I'm terrified I can't recollect the faces that once kept me warm.
They wait back home.
Time takes its toll on me
I used to be so obvious with all my words
But at least I was honest.
Tennis courts and makers
And paperback best sellers
I want to be home
I want to be myself again."